By Carl Sampson
I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions.
To me, a resolution is something I’d like to do during the New Year but probably won’t.
Like the four times I resolved to lose 30 pounds.
Or the time I resolved either to go jogging or work out every day. I never got past the “either.”
My resolutions were often serious, but I don’t remember any, serious or otherwise, that I kept.
Except the time I pledged to quit smoking — but I don’t smoke. I guess it was more of a pledge not to start smoking and then quit.
For me, “resolutions” sound a bit too heavy-handed. I think I like guidelines better.
So instead of resolutions this year, I’ll just set up some guidelines that I’ll try to follow.
For example, I will at all times invoke the Three Pot Theory when I start to fret about things.
For those of you who may have forgotten, the Three Pot Theory goes as follows:
There are three pots in the world.
Pot 1 contains all of the things I directly control. It is a very small pot. I usually comes down to what kind of soda I’ll buy from the vending machine.
Pot 2 contains all of the things I have some influence over. This pot is a little larger. It contains the kids, and a few other issues, like where to go for dinner when my wife and I are on a date.
Pot 3 contains all of the things I have no control over. This pot is huge, and seems to be getting larger everyday.
Every time I start to get excited about something, I have to remember which pot it’s in.
Let’s say I don’t like what the jokers in Washington, D.C., are doing.
What can I do about it?
Nothing, because all things political are in Pot 3. They basically exist for entertainment — and aggravation — purposes only. If I write a letter to a member of Congress, I just get back some form letter, which gets me even more wound up, so what’s the point?
Another guideline I try to follow is a 10-foot No-Jerk Zone. When I’m talking with people, I keep anyone who acts like a jerk at least 10 feet from me. It’s not that I’m afraid or anything. It’s just that I don’t like jerks, and the farther away from me they are, the happier I am.
A third guideline is one that a lot of people should probably follow: Relax more.
I find myself getting excited, frustrated or generally bent out of shape far more than I should. Usually, I should just follow my kids’ sage advice: “Chillax, Dad!”
I think that’s a good idea. It’s not that I don’t care about some things. I really shouldn’t care. In fact, everyone is better off if I don’t care. People should be thankful that I don’t care, because with enough coffee and authority I can turn into a drill sergeant.
And believe me, it isn’t a pretty sight. Ask my kids.
Carl Sampson is a freelance writer and editor.
