By Elena Casteñada Hammond
I heart February.
I know, I know. February can be a dreary time – cold and seeming to last longer than its 28 days. Spring is almost here. But we must endure more rain to get there.
Still, February is a fun-filled time in my memories and in my home. My birthday is in February. One of my sons was born in February. Hellebores tend to bloom in February. And of course there’s Valentine’s Day.
As a kid, I loved to give and receive valentines.
My mom liked to have us make the valentines we gave away. We cut circles out of whatever construction paper we had on hand (I remember making green cards one year) and glued the circles to the middle of paper lace doilies so that a paper fringe stuck out around the circle. We wrote “Happy Valentine’s Day” in the middle to complete the task.
My mom would make her own valentines for my siblings and me. We often received candies or Valentine’s Day-themed mugs or socks with it. It was a nice reminder that we were loved.
At school, I would cut out pink hearts, red hearts and white hearts – dozens of them – and paste them in layers on a large envelope with my name on it. That would get taped to the front of my desk and become a receptacle for all of my valentines.
Opening the valentines was the best part. Of course I looked forward to notes from friends, but honestly, it was really about what the boys wrote. They could write something as simple as “To Elena, From Jared” and I would embellish it with all sorts of meaning.
As an adult, Valentine’s Day became more complicated. I had expectations.
I remember the first Valentine’s Day my husband and I celebrated as a married couple. There was no hint of romance all day. I thought my husband had forgotten about it. I’ll admit to being overdramatic about the whole thing. There were tears. And sobs. He’ll never forget it again.
So here’s a tip for the guys out there: If you make one Valentine’s Day count in your lifetime, let it be the one during your first year of marriage. That will save you countless heartaches in the years to follow. Don’t take that to mean that you pull out all of the stops and set off on a Caribbean cruise. Save something for later. But don’t let that first Valentine’s Day go without a basic card, gift and dinner.
We never embraced Valentine’s Day with the whole dozen-roses-box-of-chocolates-fancy-dinner-out routine. Maybe it goes back to our first Valentine’s Day together. I think it’s a combination of him breaking a tradition that got him into trouble and me not wanting to make a big deal out of it again.
Five years into our marriage, however, we had the greatest valentine you could hope for – our first baby. He was actually born Feb. 13, but we spent Valentine’s Day in the hospital surrounded by heart-shaped balloons, roses and love for a new family member.
And so Valentine’s Day was redeemed for us. We are still simple in our approach. We exchange cards, often of the homemade variety. My husband is an artist in the kitchen, creating elaborate menus and meals on a moment’s notice, so we usually stay in for the night.
But a couple of years ago, my in-laws surprised us by dropping in and taking care of the kids for the night – on Valentine’s Day. There we were, forced to go out and celebrate. What would we do?
I looked up a few places I’d heard about and called around. It’s pretty difficult to get a reservation for a nice restaurant on Valentine’s Day. The host at a popular Silverton restaurant advised us to take a reservation at a new Woodburn location. The same menu would be served. I agreed and wrote down the address and directions.
Let me stress that we had never in 11 years of marriage made a reservation for a Valentine’s Day dinner.
We may have gone out for dinner once or twice on that day, but never with a reservation. It’s subtle, but trust me, there’s a difference. It’s like the difference between getting a subcompact or a convertible for a rental car. Or the difference between printing your own invitations and having them engraved. You expect more with the reservation, especially on Valentine’s Day.
We drove around Woodburn for a short time trying to find the place. It finally dawned on us that this place was in a medical center. Hmm.
We walked in and past signs for a spa, aesthetic services and fitness center. We were surprised, but it made us laugh. Here we were, on our big Valentine’s night out, in a medical facility. Not exactly the most romantic option, but perhaps one that suited us more anyway. We were reminded of another Valentine’s Day spent in the hospital. And the food was amazing. The five-course meal featured oysters, Pinot noir and chocolate for dessert. We loved it.
It confirmed what we already knew, that Valentine’s Day is about expressing love to each other (and that sometimes means forgiving each other). For us, the expression comes first in time spent with family, and second in good food. There is also an element of surprise in a good Valentine’s Day. I’m looking forward to it all happening again this month.
Elena’s husband homemade onion rings inspired her to write this. She can be reached at [email protected].
